Folks, I hope you prove me right please, because my answer to that was that this is such a loving, inclusive community where everyone is welcome and accepted for who and what they are, a parish where we teach and practice respect, that I can preach about the capable wifeconfident that rather than burst a blood vessel, you are all quite capable of translating what I quote from an ancient text into whatever relationships, gender specifics or domestic situation apply to your home and heart. Yes, words are also powerful symbols. That’s why we need to be very careful how we use and interpret Biblical passages that may have two or more levels of meaning, parking our personal prejudices and assumptions long enough be able to hear the hidden depths and profound implications when code words or key words like capable or wiseare linked with wife.” Ready? Here goes…
One lesson we can take from a literal reading of the Proverb is that instead of vying with one another over who does the more important jobs – in other words who is the greater, more important and powerful in any relationship, maybe most of us could benefit from sharing how much we appreciate and love one another. I am not just talking about marriage, but any relationship, whether between partners, parents and children, colleagues, or members of any organization and community. Imagine how you would feel, if you were told often and regularly how much even the smallest things you did were noticed and appreciated.
Admittedly, the poet goes to great lengths to praise the virtues of a wise, industrious wife who not only runs a happy home, supervising those who help her with the cleaning and maintenance, laundry, gardening and so on, but she is a great mother and wife as well as a good manager and businesswoman who makes the most of her resources. In short, she is a superwoman, which is why people object to this model with the relentless demands of keeping the home-fires burning, being a mom, making a living, teaching kindness and being charitable etcetera, while we don’t hear what her husband does – besides attending council meetings. Fair comment, but remember, in a patriarchal society it went without saying that men had plenty of responsibilities too. In that context, it’s amazing that while women in neighbouring cultures were regarded as chattels, their Jewish sisters, at least the wealthy ones with servants, seemed to influence both the business and domestic worlds, producing and trading everything from fine cloth to good wine. Even if it is modelled after the privileged ones, the image of mutual dependence and appreciation in relationships, still points toward a form of equality that was well ahead of its time and an ideal yet to be universally achieved.
Is that it – the main message of the Proverb? Or at another level was the capable wife another metaphor for Sophia – Lady Wisdom who features in Jewish literature as the personification of wisdom whose works speak for themselves? Instead of an intellectual gift, so all in the mind, this is wisdom manifest in what it brings about, or brings into being. Now, if you are starting to make connections with God’s creative power, (maybe the divine feminine), and the Logos, the Word made flesh – Jesus, and his teachings, keep going, because you will find that Wisdom is a common thread that weaves in and out of all today’s readings – from the portrait of the capable wife, through the Psalm’s choice between the path of sinners or walking in God’s ways, which James describes it as the difference between letting ourselves be ruled by envy, deceit and selfish ambition versus peacefulness, gentleness and mercy, then, to crown it all the wisdom of seeing real power in the service of others, rather than self-serving desire to be the greatest. James says that conflict and disputes originate from the cravings at war within us, perhaps the desire for power, recognition or something that others have and we want. But what about the powerless?
What about the millions in the world who have next to nothing having been dispossessed and displaced by wars, and millions more who also live in squalor, misery and abject poverty? Shouldn’t they want a better life, want the basics that others take for granted? When Jesus said the first should be last of all and servant of all I don’t think he was implying that the poor and needy should be content with their lot in life, because they are first in God’s eyes. Look at the context – Jesus was not speaking to the needy at the time, but to his disciples who had been arguing about which one of them was the greatest, jockeying for power straight after Jesus had told them he would soon be killed. To silence their bickering and put his point across, he took a child in his arms and said “Whoever welcomes such child in my name welcomes me, and the one who sent me.” Back then, children had no power, so the implication is that whoever wants to know true greatness and power should welcome the powerless with open arms.
With so many devastating, complex situations in the world today, what does this say to us? How do we prioritize our response, directing our resources to help the most needy? What is the wisest course of action we can take? While this is being debated at every level of government, we all have choices to make – all have gifts to offer, wisdom and resources to put good use, something we can do to help make a difference, just like Greta… She was a wise woman I met years ago in a remote village high up in the highlands of PNG back when wives were still being bartered and pigs considered more valuable. Bent over and prematurely aged through hard physical labour, she beamed a toothless smile as she proudly led me into a clearing she had hacked into the dense jungle behind her hut to show me her rabbit hutches. Dirt poor, she’d learned how to breed and sell rabbits to help feed her family, as well as raise money to help other women learn skills like basket-weaving, then start mini cottage-businesses that transformed their lives. Seeing the hardships these folk faced made my blood boil and I said so, but judging by the shocked look Greta gave me the guide must have translated my words literally, because she planted herself firmly in front of her big stew pot and said “No, no, big waste!” We laughed ourselves silly, but seriously – it takes a lot of emotional energy to let our blood boil. Maybe instead of getting steamed up we could use the energy more wisely to do something, no matter how small, that could serve others and make a difference.